This week

First of all for anyone that may follow, sorry I haven't posted in a while. Things gets hectic with a 4 year old and a 9 month old! I haven't really had the time to sit down and blog.
I managed to lose 3 pounds this week!  It feels pretty amazing! I have been having some slow weeks with just a .2 or .4 loss then last week I gained a pound :( So the 3 lb loss this week was very encouraging and a big shock!! My first thought was WOW Halloween didnt screw me! Though I did decent I was still afraid of a gain.
We have a nasty habit of eating out on the weekends and this past weekend I didnt eat out as mch and made better decisions when we did. I also dropped to half of my nursing points. Because Masen does get solids 3x a day now so 14 extra points is just too much!

Anyways back to Halloween! My little ones dressed up as bees :) They looked adorable! (picture above) Masen finally got the "hang" of trick-or-treating. By the end he would look at the people then back at his little bucket as if to say " Hey put whatever that is you've been putting in this thing they keep trying to get me to hold"  He also enjoyed his first sucker :)

Addison loved getting all the candy and couldnt wait to get home to eat it all! In fact first thing she said Tuesday morning was "get my candy down mommy!!"
Hoping this week goes just as good as last week!

Dread!

I am really not looking foward to tonight's weigh in! This week has been horrible we ate out way too many nights and thanks to a infection of some sorts under my arm I have not been able to work out. Oh and I am on antibiotics. So I am sure I havent lost anything and have probably gained :( Sometimes I feel like I am just wasting my time. I wish I could have it easier like some women. They just lose the weight without fail! But me no that doesnt happen! I know I didnt go over my weekly points yet I know I have probably gained. Something has to give!

My thoughts today

It seems that every night when I go to go to bed I have all these great things I should blog about. but then when I get up in the mornings I seem to forget them. Anyways, I have really been thinking about my weight loss and goals the past few days. I at times feel so overwhelmed with what I have to lose that I lose sight on what I need to do to acheive my goals. So I think that this week I am going to try and remember to just simply eat right and not make stupid choices. I know easier said than done. My goal is to by this time next year be at a healthy weight. That is a HUGE goal though and that is what I need to stop focusing on. I need to focus on 5 lbs at a time. I would said 10 but that seems like a ton too! That being said I do want to at least be at pre pregnancy weight (from Masen) by his first birthday. It is completly attainable I just have to kick my ass into gear!

Wow!

I have to admit I am shocked that i had a loss this week! Granted it was only a whopping 4 ounces! But hey I will take that over gaining any day! As I had previously stated I was going to try lowering my points some to see if that helped and I would love to say it did but this was actually the first week that I had used weekly points almost every day ! I know that I have got to try and remind myself why i am doing this and what motivated me to lose weight and to join WW when I did. So I may dedicate a post just to that when I get a chance(hopefully today!) Though I have busy weekend ahead of me so I may not get a chave to do that until sunday. Tonight I have to make my daughters Spongebob birthday cake and then of course her party is tomorrow.

Anyways, yesterday I had to take the kids with me to my weigh in because Roy had to work late and 2 hours away :( Thankfully it went better than expected though. :) On the way to the weigh in Addison proved that maybe she watches a little too much Dora the Explorer. This is her on the way there. " WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! YEAHHH!!!"

An with that I am out! :o)

Finally a update

I realize it has been some time since my last blog. I am really struggling with my weight. I keep bouncing back and forth with the same few pounds. The weekend is the worse time for me since we are usually not at home like we should be. So therefore I eat out more than I should. Usually during the week I do pretty good except for on Thursday nights after weigh in. I know I can do this I guess I just need to start over per se. I am also trying to lower my nursing points and see if that helps as well. Well until next time everyone be well!

How life happens

Wow. I realize it has been about a month since I last blogged. I am apparently as I expected bad at this!
Updates: I am now finally down 11.6 lbs. It only took me 16 weeks arghh. But I am here. That leaves me with 79 lbs to go. I know its probably to much to ask for but I am hoping this time next year I am at my goal. Being fat is a pain in the ass. I hate the way it makes me feel and I hate the fact that I can't eat whatever and not gain. I use to be lucky.

My sweet baby boy is 7 months old today. Time has flown  by. He is sitting up now and trying his damnest to stand up! Why do they grow so darn fast?! My beautiful daughter is going to be 4 in a couple of months and I just don't know when she got so big on me. She is extra sassy these days and is already talking about wanting to drag race. Man thats gonna be FUN! Hahaha, right...

On to some seriousness. My grandmother battled and beat breast cancer 15 years ago and has been great since then. Until a week ago when she went to the doctor because she felt as if she was sitting on something. Come to find out she has ovarian cancer and had the grapefruit sized tumor removed this past week. So now her new battle is about to begin. We are hoping she makes it the 5 years they said is possible and maxium they usually tell you that you have.

So all of this is why I have blogged. Apparently life happened. And if we are lucky will continue ;-)
Until the next time. Everyone stay safe. Live life.

been a while

So I am so bad at this blogging thing... I will start with the weight loss stuff. So I managed to get to 10 lbs lost.. Then I gained .6 back, okay no big deal.. then I gained 2.2lb back. I am so mad at myself and to make things worse I just seem to continually do worse. I really need to go through the house and get all sweets out of here and load up on fruits and veggies. I have so much to lose to just keep screwing it up and honestly right now could use some serious motivation. On a positive note I have been doing a pilates reformer class once a week for a month now. I am about to be on my 5th week. I have 6 sessions bought and am seriously thinking of buying more! In just a few weeks I can feel the difference in my body. I went in not being able to do a full sit up while laying down and now i can! This might not seem like a big deal to some but its great for me considering I had a c section almost 6 months ago. It is nce to know I can utilize(sp) and feel my ab muscles again and in what seems to be a short time frame.

In other news, I no longer have the gummy smile baby. Masen has cut two teeth! He is also sitting up now which is great! I seemed to had forgotten just how fast they do grow. Also he seems to LOVE the water!

Short vent: So my almost 4 year old is a very talkative and intelligent for her age. It seems everyone who meets her seems to acknowledge just how well she speaks for her age. She has always been very verbal and since she started talking she has always had the ability to carry on adult conversations and use big words. So thats the background on her. Well this weekend we went to a water park with my dad's family and did a cookout at my grandparents house afterwards. My sister had brought some friends of hers with her and one of them had decided to help my grandmother and cousins fill up water balloons. So as they were filling up the balloons my grandma and cousins began to talk about Addison and my other cousin's(not present in the house) daughter. They then made a remark saying that Addison is a special child.. Don't take this wrong it wouldnt bother me if she was indeed "special" but she isnt. Anyways so my sisters friend asked them what do you mean special and they replied oh you know she's just different....(Okay WTF seriously!) This is where my sister's friend got a little ticked off and replied " I might not have been around her a lot but she is smarter that my 7 year old sister." At this remark they just stared at her and the conversation ended.  So I am just a little furious.. I mean I have a right to be right?!?!

Anyways- we are also moving by August 1st!!!I am excited and have a lot to do! We have painted and put in carpet and some linelom(sp lol) It is right across from my dad's house so I am super excited about that since we are close :) Well I believe it is time for me to go to bed. Hopefully I can update more frequently!

6-23-11

I apparently am running out of titles already.. HMM. Oh well. Today has been pretty uneventful so far. My children decided it would be a wonderful idea to wake up at 730.. I on the otherhand do not agree! I have just been so tired here lately. Masen's eating schedule is all off track so my sleeping is as well! He was almost sleeping through the night but now we are up at least twice sometimes three times. gfhbkk Masen says HI!

Addison right now is playing dress up with my clothes. Really wish I knew how to post pictures on here so I could post just how silly she looks!
My workout at the gym last night was killer! I swear if I haven't lost any this week i will be shocked! I have worked out 3x this week at the gym and am planning on starting something simple here at home in addition to the gym.  I feel like I started off strong in the beginning of  my journey and yet here i am 7 weeks in and starting to feel a little discouraged already. I guess as long as I am not gaining I will be okay. I have a small goal in mind though and it just seems so difficult to attain. I would like to have lost 30 lbs(or more) by October(that is on top of the 7 I have lost already so 37 in total). That will put me at the weight I was when I got pregnant with Masen and then I will only have 53lbs to lose to get to where I was when I got pregnant with Addison. That is a weight I am comfortable at though WW has me needing to be about 8 lbs less than that. I am hoping that by this time next year I will be where I want to be.

All this weight has really messed with me. My self esteem is just horrible because I feel horrible. I know I am not my weight but I swear I feel like I am. I feel as if people look at me and they don't see ME, they see all this weight. I hate seeing people I went to school with because the last time most of them saw me I was skinny! Some I had seen when I was pregnant but then I was pregnant so it was different. I am blessed though. Blessed that I have two beautiful children.Blessed that I have a boyfriend who loves my body this way just as much as he loved the one I had when we first got together. I was thinking the other day how sorry I feel for my boyfriend because he is stuck with "this me" and not the "old me" like he had signed up for. I felt guilty that he didn't get what I call the best of me because my body and I guess mentality has changed since we first go together and I feel as if past boyfriend's got the best and they didn't deserve that. But then I continued to think about it and came to realize, yes he doesnt have the best body me, but he does have the best ME. He has me as the mother of his children he got to help and watch me create life and raise children and make a home. He gets to see me succeed at doing the hardest thing ever. An he well he gets my heart the whole thing for the rest of our lifes. He gets me, all of me. He is the only person who knows everything about me, he is my best friend. I can tell through the whole weight gaining thing that he does love me for me and whats inside. He finds me beautiful no matter what I look like. I don't know about you but to me that is true love, unconditional love. I know deep down that I can make it through this and lose this weight. God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I have just shyed away from the "challenge" for too long. Time to beat this battle instead of continually fighting it over and over. I can do this for me and for my children.

This ended way longer than what I intened and way off track but I feel better getting everything out. I will check back in after weigh in tonight.

a Day at the park..

Today was Masen's first time at the park! We all went to the park today for Addison to play with her cousin Ella. They have been trying to plan a get together for a while without letting us adults know. Addison is almost 4 and Ella is almost 5. They had talked on the phone a few weeks ago for an hour straight! That is what prompted this visit today. We had to go early because we have storms moving in this afternoon. It was fun! Addison and Ella decided they wanted to swim and thank heavens my aunt was there because that gave me and my cousin Emily a break from our girls! We both have infants though. Abbigayle(her LO) and Masen are only 2  months apart. It is amazing to be able to see the milestone differences in them. Abbi is the oldest and she is sitting some and is starting to try and crawl and is bouncing all over the place. Masen can sit when supported and does bounce just not quite as much. Its amazing to see the things he may be doing soon! I did notice he is more mellowed out than she is. He was facisnated with the swings. He was inspecting them while Abbi was bouncing and laughing! I am also happy to say i nursed in public today! its the 1st time i have done this when not sitting in the car! It was amazing! I am proud of myself for finally doing it even if it was just in the park and with a cover :) The day was great until my sweet girl had a fall. She is fine now though.
well duty calls, time to feed Masen and get ready for the gym!

Been awhile...

I cant believe I have went this long without updating! Just haven"t really had a moment to myself..  The last two weigh in haven't been great. On the June 9th weigh in I lost .4 thats it. I was okay with this though. However my birthday was June 12th and that is where things went down hill.. On the morning of June 11th I got up and went to the gym that a.m and took a Saturday class. I hadn't taken a weekend class since I was about 12 weeks pregnant with Masen. So it had been a while! I thought yes I am doing so good! Then we went and ate that afternoon for my birthday and I was starving and honestly ate really shitty... But I was okay with that since I worked out and it was for my special day even if it was a day early. I had planned on eating good on my actual birthday, that didnt happen.. I honestly ca not remember what i had eaten Sunday morning but I do know that Roy's parents wanted us to cook out. So Roy made ribs and corn on the grill. I made sure I didnt eat to much and probably only had about 9 pts used... Then I was in trouble again.. his sister had bought me a cake. Cake is my big weakness, unless it has that fake whip cream icing then I can pass. I ate a huge piece. It was bittersweet. Ha Ha. I told them I wasnt taking any home because I wouldnt be able to resist it. So what does Roy do? He brings a piece home and preceded to tell me icould have some of it or all of it if I wanted it.. >.<  I ate about half of it that night.. Then morning came and I kept eyeing it in the fridge.. I took one bite and then the next thing I know the whole thing is gone! >>.<<  OOPS! I really didnt mean to eat it all but I did. So I planned that i was definatley going to go to the Mon/Wed class at the gym and I did. Come weigh in day on Thursday i stepped on the scale terrified I was gonna weigh 2 lbs heavier and much to my surprise I only gained the .4 back! My firt gain. I am trying to not to be too discouraged and honestly am glad that was all it was because I know had I not worked out at all it would have been much more! I have also come to the conclusion that the weekend is the hardest for me. So I need to get it in gear I guess. Hoping for a better weigh in this Thursday!

Thursday June 2nd weigh in

Sorry this is a day late! Well this whole entire past week I have been worried that I wouldn't lose anything! I am pleased to say I  lost... 1.6 lbs!!!!! I was completly shocked when she handed me my card back and said good job! I have now lost a total of 7.2 lbs since May 12th! I am so proud of myself and I really hope my weight loss continues to go this well every week!

Earlier this week Masen got into the little pool with Addison. He loved the water!!! I remember when we first put Addison in water she screamed and she usually clings to you. I am hoping Masen loves the water.

We have sort of a big weekend. My baby sister graduates high school tomorrow1 I can not believe she will be done with school already and that she is 18. It just doesn't seem right. i am really curious to see how well tomorrow goes with Addison and Masen. I imagine Addison will be talking the WHOLE time and I will be trying to figure out how feeding Masen is going to work. I have yet to nurse in public, unless you count the car, and I am super nervous about it. I will probably try to pump on the way there and on the way back since we are going to eat too. This will be my first time going out to eat since joining weight watchers. We have done fast food and pizza but thats it. I have already decided I will have to plan out what I am going to eat. I guess i will have to do the same thing next weekend too since it will be my birthday and my dad always takes us out to eat..

Will definatley have to be hitting the gym more this week. In fact that is my goal for myself this week is to go to the gym more. Hopefully I can hit 8 lbs lost or more this week :)

I am back

Sorry I havent posted in a few days! I had a pretty good Memorial weekend. Roy was off for 4 days :) We didn't really do much though. Addison stayed at her paw paw's this Saturday night so we were able to go rent some movies and watch with almost no interupptions! Yay! lol. Then yesterday we had a cookout at his parents. I am actually proud of myself, I stayed within points! I was so nervous that I may go over and have to dip into my weekly points but I didn't have to. Roy and I were talking about my weight loss so far last night and how I am trying so hard to stay on track. He told me I was doing a great job! He is so good at helping me stay motivated and I am very blessed to have him in my corner cheering me on! I am hoping to workout some tomorrow night too so hopefully that helps as well.

Our electricity had to be worked on today so the power went out. Addison cracked me up when she said "oh no daddy is gonna be SOAKING mad" LOL she says the craziest things. 
Sorry this is so jumbled today! I just can't seem to get a perfect train of thought going right now!

Really wanting to try doing a pilates reformer class soon to see how I like it. I tried it once for free when i was about 14 weeks pregnant with Masen, so I couldnt do all the moves. i am just wondering if i should try it now or lose a little more weight first?? Any suggestions? I think it will be good for the restoring of my abdominal muscles. C-sections are a bitch to your abs lol! I had just finally started getting them stregthened back for my c section in 07 when I got pregnant with little man. Oh well I am blessed no matter what my abs have went through I wouldnt change a thing!

Friday.

So today has been pretty good,uneventful,but good. We got the house straightened up some and finally got shelves hung in the laudry room so it won't be such a mess. I did cave in a little and eat a snickers bar. They are my weakness but I felt pretty crappy afterwards. Don't think i will be doing that again.

Addison actually helped clean up today :) But of course afterwards when her brother spit up on the floor she says " ugh, I was gonna have a party here tonight. Guess it'll have to be at my friends house now." Wow the things little ones come up with. Her imagination is just amazing sometimes. Also, while talking with her PawPaw on the phone she asked "can you take me to my party at my friends later?" Where she gets this "party" stuff from I have no idea!

Well off to make supper. Gone are the days when Friday meant chilling with friends lol. Now it means mommy may get a small break! YAY!

This week's weigh in, dinner and kid stuff

I am very happy to say that I lost 2 lbs this week :) That makes a total of 5.6 lbs lost in two weeks. So far i am off to a great start. Now to keep it up for oh lets say a year. I now have 85 lbs to lose until i get to my pre children weight. I CAN do it. I am glad to say that I also got my 5 lb star.
My weight watcher leader also passed around what she calls "fat freddy"( think thats what she called him). Anyways it is a replica of 5 lbs of fat. It is amazing to see how much fat that is, although i dont see where i could have lost that but i know I did. I am hoping in the next 4 weeks i will make my 5% goal.

Dinner was completly unhealthy tonight. I am a little disappointed in myself but I will be okay. We went to Jack in the Box. Of course that isnt healthy but I got a kid's meal so maybe not a complete fail. I was a little ticked off that we order my burger plain then get home and everything is on it :(

Anywho- Addison seems to keep hurting her brother. She doesn't mean to but it keeps happening. It makes me worry everytime if he is okay, or if I should call the doctor.. He is only almost 4 months so still little. She has hit his head twice now and today she threw her head back during a temper tantrum without knowing he was behind her and hit his belly. I just pray he is okay. Having two is difficult.  It would be easier I think if she wasn't so wild, she has tons of energy. Plus we are going through the horrible 3's that no one warns you about. Really hoping the 4's are better, but not holding my breathe.
Masen is doing great. Though he is a huge mommy's boy. Which is great, except when mommy needs daddy to hold him or entertain him. It is funny sometimes though he can be upset but see me and he is all smiles :) melts my heart. I think a lot of this has to do with breastfeeding. I never thought i would actually make it this far on nursing.  Now i can't see how i ever even thought about giving up in the beginning. Now my goal after 6 months will be 9 then 12. I do plan to wean at one year if he hasn't self weaned already. I don't have a problem with extended breastfeeding just don't think it is for me but you never know until you get there.

Well until tomorrow. Goodnight all!

Today's weight and quote

Tonight will be my second weigh in with weight watchers. I think I am starting to get the hang of the program. Though sometimes I wish I was able to eat like I did before children, back when my weight was great.  To me the hardest part about losing weight isn't necessarliy the food restrictions. Its how slow and long the process is. We as Americans are so use to instant gratification that the time period for weight loss is just nerve wracking. I know it has to come off slow and in a healthy way I just wish it didn't take so dang long! Maybe it is because I have so MUCH to lose and i know it will be a long process. Right now my first big goal is to get back to 194 lbs, then down to 180 and so forth...

A quote I found yesterday really speaks to me now "The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination."

I am a deteremined woman. I am determined not to look this way for the rest of my life. I am determined to get healthy not only for myself but for my children. I CAN do this! My health depends on it.

To me one of the biggest downfalls of being overweight, besides the obvious, is I don't feel good about myself anymore. With every extra pound I put on I lose a little of my self confidence. So now with every pound I lose I am going to start trying to get that back.

"The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination."
Losing weight isnt impossible for me anymore because I am determined and I WILL make it possible.

Being a mother means...

10. Your body never belongs to just you again.
       As soon as you get that BFP- your body will grow a child and nourish it. Then when baby is born you will continue to nourish them.

9. You become a instant rag.
      You will be used as a spit up rag, a snot rag, the wipe your tears here rag, the food rag, and sometimes even the pee and poop rag.

8. Someone will always come before you.
    This is not bad, unless you really gotta pee.

7. Sleeping becomes a thing of the past.
     Its well worth it though when you get a sweet sleepy smile when they are infants and sweet cuddles when older.

6.  Not getting to shower everyday. Or not getting to take long showers.
       Yep I said it. Sometimes you are lucky to take a shower everyday and when you do it usually doesnt last more than 5 minutes. At least not any longer than 5 minutes of a uninterrupted shower.

5.  Knowing everyday you will smile.
     There is not a day that goes by that i can help but smile. Waking up every morning to my babies smiling faces is beautiful and always brings a smile to my face.

4.  Your house will never be spotless.
      Unless you are super mom. I am not. Its life.

3.  You will find yourself talking about things you never expected to discuss.
      Such as poop, how much, when and what it looks like.

2.  You will become a multi tasker and have different jobs.
      You learn how to talk on the phone while feeding your child and yourself. You learn to cook while coloring with your child(ren). You become teacher, referee, nurse, taxi driver, art director, personal chef, the list could go on and on.

1. That you will forever have your heart on the outside of your body and you will discover just how much you can love this one little person.
   The more children you have the bigger your heart grows full of love.

Being a mom means a lot of things some good, some unexpected, but all worth it. I can guarentee you will never feel the kind of love you feel once you become a mom. To me you feel as if you couldn't breathe anymore if something was to happen to your child. Being a mom is the most rewarding thing I will ever do in my life. It is without a doubt my biggest and proudest accomplishment.

Where I left off

I meant to finish postng last night but that didn't happen. I left off at finding out I was expecting again. I was in complete and utter shock when that test came back positive! I took 3 more just to be sure! I finally just realized there is no way i could have 4 false positives. :) I was pregnant and still grossly overweight. I was terrified of something happening to the baby, of gaining weight, of everything! My pregnancy went fairly decent. I had some major scares in the beginning. Such as pain so bad that the doctors thought I had an ectopic pregnancy. That made me realize just how much I already loved the baby and I was terrified of losing him. An to think just a few days before this I was freaking out about the whole pregnancy. I remember laying in the ER praying that everything was fine. Praying that the tests and ultrasounds would show everything was okay. The ultrasound didn't show much like I hoped. i was told it may be a baby in my womb and possibly my tubes. On ultrasound they saw a bleeding mass. It was too early for a hb i was only a mere 4 weeks pregnant.  For the next week and a half i went to the doctor to have blood drawn every few days to make sure my HCG levels went up.  I was told to take it easy until we found out. I remember the day the doctor called and told me my numbers had more than doubled! I was so happy, i had honestly been expecting the worse and I was a mess.  The next ultrasound i had showed a wonderful tiny beating heart. I was able to hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks :)

 My plan had been to exercise during pregnancy so i could stop from gaining way to much. The dr said it would be okay and great if I only gained 15-20lbs or even less. I couldnt work out because i felt dizzy when I did and started getting pains in my stomach around my c section scar when I walked. I didnt gain anything my first trimester! I thought "YES! i can do this!" I found out I was having a boy. It was a major deal! He is the first boy in 21 years on my dad's side! All through the pregnancy if i had a ultrasound i made should they would re check just to make sure! I was already in love with my little boy!  I had to have a RCS with him since i had a emergency one with Addison.  I ended my pregnancy with a total weight gain of 51 lbs :( Somehow at the end it just packed on and on and on...

I was determined to breastfeed him and try harder than what I did with Addison.  I also thought sure i can breastfeed and this weight that I regained (plus more) will just melt right off. Wrong. Again.  I actually lost about 25 then gained it back. So here I am, 4 months postpartum. I am still successfully breastfeeding,we have battled thrush and all.  I joined weight watchers on May 12th, at a weight of 230.8 lbs. I had my first weigh in on May 19th and had lost 3.6 lbs so far.

So this is where my new weight loss journey will begin.  I am still determined to lose this weight. I know I can. I was doing amazing when I lost those 33 lbs and became pregnant again. I dont regret my pregnancy at all. I have been blessed with two beautiful children.  It is no ones fault but my own that I am overweight. No one can fix it but me!  So it may be boring and no one may even read this but this is for me. I am going to try and blog about my weight loss and about being a mom at the same time. Wish me luck!

First Blog!

So this is my first blog. Ever. So bare with me if it doesn't dazzle. :) I am a mom to two wonderful little ones. I had my first, Addison, when i was 19, that is where my motherhood and weight  journey begins. More on that later. I had my second baby Masen in january of this year.  I decided i would try blogging to write down my weight loss journey. I am determined this time to lose weight for good and this helps me be more accountable.

I never had a weight problem until I got pregnant with Addison. I stupidly thought I would be one of the "lucky" ones that could gain a lot and lose it right after having the baby.   I. Wasn't.  I managed to gain 60lbs with her putting me at a whopping 200 lbs! Which is a TON on my 5'1 frame. I wasnt really to worried about it because I thought well i will breastfeed and lose it all. Well nursing didnt work out....  I lost down to 180 after her birth and was assured by my Dr. that the weight would just keep falling off.. He lied. Not intentionally of course but still. I somehow gained the weight back and they brought some friends.. I went to work when Addison was 3 months old, even though I didnt want to. I think this also contributed to my weight gain, since it was a desk job.  For the next  yeas my weight bounced from 180 to 211. When i went to my dr and weighed in at 211 lbs in 2009 he told me I had to make a change. He said with the way my gain had been that if i continued to gain this way I would be dead. He said i was becoming a very good candiate for gastric bypass.  I forgot to mention that I was also diagnosed with Polycystic ovaries after having my DD too. The doctor also said this contributed to my weight problem.  Anyways- I was terrified when i left the doctor that day and called my dad crying. My dad being the amazing man he is went to the gym in my town and signed me up and paid for training and everything. I was completly grateful and excited.  I went to the gym for awhile but honestly my heart wasn't in it completly like i had hoped.  I found excuses not to go after a while. Fast forward a year. It was January 2010 and my boyfriend's sister called and told me the gym was starting a 6 week class called Battle of the Bulge,similar to Biggest Loser. I knew deep down this is what i needed to motivate me. We had a team competing against the other trainers teams and our teammates counted on us to be there every week to lose weight. It was a team effort so therefore i just couldnt let my team down. For the next 6 weeks, 2 nights a week i worked out for an hour with my trainer and team. On the other days I walked with my dad. I was determined! I finally had drive! I lost 17lbs that 6 weeks. going from my high of 227 lbs to 207. Six more weeks later i lost down to 194. I was so proud of myself i was doing this! I was finally starting to feel good about myself again. Well then God blessed me with another child. I got my BFP on May 25th.  Gonna leave off here for now and pick up here later.. Time to do the mommy thing