Where I left off

I meant to finish postng last night but that didn't happen. I left off at finding out I was expecting again. I was in complete and utter shock when that test came back positive! I took 3 more just to be sure! I finally just realized there is no way i could have 4 false positives. :) I was pregnant and still grossly overweight. I was terrified of something happening to the baby, of gaining weight, of everything! My pregnancy went fairly decent. I had some major scares in the beginning. Such as pain so bad that the doctors thought I had an ectopic pregnancy. That made me realize just how much I already loved the baby and I was terrified of losing him. An to think just a few days before this I was freaking out about the whole pregnancy. I remember laying in the ER praying that everything was fine. Praying that the tests and ultrasounds would show everything was okay. The ultrasound didn't show much like I hoped. i was told it may be a baby in my womb and possibly my tubes. On ultrasound they saw a bleeding mass. It was too early for a hb i was only a mere 4 weeks pregnant.  For the next week and a half i went to the doctor to have blood drawn every few days to make sure my HCG levels went up.  I was told to take it easy until we found out. I remember the day the doctor called and told me my numbers had more than doubled! I was so happy, i had honestly been expecting the worse and I was a mess.  The next ultrasound i had showed a wonderful tiny beating heart. I was able to hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks :)

 My plan had been to exercise during pregnancy so i could stop from gaining way to much. The dr said it would be okay and great if I only gained 15-20lbs or even less. I couldnt work out because i felt dizzy when I did and started getting pains in my stomach around my c section scar when I walked. I didnt gain anything my first trimester! I thought "YES! i can do this!" I found out I was having a boy. It was a major deal! He is the first boy in 21 years on my dad's side! All through the pregnancy if i had a ultrasound i made should they would re check just to make sure! I was already in love with my little boy!  I had to have a RCS with him since i had a emergency one with Addison.  I ended my pregnancy with a total weight gain of 51 lbs :( Somehow at the end it just packed on and on and on...

I was determined to breastfeed him and try harder than what I did with Addison.  I also thought sure i can breastfeed and this weight that I regained (plus more) will just melt right off. Wrong. Again.  I actually lost about 25 then gained it back. So here I am, 4 months postpartum. I am still successfully breastfeeding,we have battled thrush and all.  I joined weight watchers on May 12th, at a weight of 230.8 lbs. I had my first weigh in on May 19th and had lost 3.6 lbs so far.

So this is where my new weight loss journey will begin.  I am still determined to lose this weight. I know I can. I was doing amazing when I lost those 33 lbs and became pregnant again. I dont regret my pregnancy at all. I have been blessed with two beautiful children.  It is no ones fault but my own that I am overweight. No one can fix it but me!  So it may be boring and no one may even read this but this is for me. I am going to try and blog about my weight loss and about being a mom at the same time. Wish me luck!

First Blog!

So this is my first blog. Ever. So bare with me if it doesn't dazzle. :) I am a mom to two wonderful little ones. I had my first, Addison, when i was 19, that is where my motherhood and weight  journey begins. More on that later. I had my second baby Masen in january of this year.  I decided i would try blogging to write down my weight loss journey. I am determined this time to lose weight for good and this helps me be more accountable.

I never had a weight problem until I got pregnant with Addison. I stupidly thought I would be one of the "lucky" ones that could gain a lot and lose it right after having the baby.   I. Wasn't.  I managed to gain 60lbs with her putting me at a whopping 200 lbs! Which is a TON on my 5'1 frame. I wasnt really to worried about it because I thought well i will breastfeed and lose it all. Well nursing didnt work out....  I lost down to 180 after her birth and was assured by my Dr. that the weight would just keep falling off.. He lied. Not intentionally of course but still. I somehow gained the weight back and they brought some friends.. I went to work when Addison was 3 months old, even though I didnt want to. I think this also contributed to my weight gain, since it was a desk job.  For the next  yeas my weight bounced from 180 to 211. When i went to my dr and weighed in at 211 lbs in 2009 he told me I had to make a change. He said with the way my gain had been that if i continued to gain this way I would be dead. He said i was becoming a very good candiate for gastric bypass.  I forgot to mention that I was also diagnosed with Polycystic ovaries after having my DD too. The doctor also said this contributed to my weight problem.  Anyways- I was terrified when i left the doctor that day and called my dad crying. My dad being the amazing man he is went to the gym in my town and signed me up and paid for training and everything. I was completly grateful and excited.  I went to the gym for awhile but honestly my heart wasn't in it completly like i had hoped.  I found excuses not to go after a while. Fast forward a year. It was January 2010 and my boyfriend's sister called and told me the gym was starting a 6 week class called Battle of the Bulge,similar to Biggest Loser. I knew deep down this is what i needed to motivate me. We had a team competing against the other trainers teams and our teammates counted on us to be there every week to lose weight. It was a team effort so therefore i just couldnt let my team down. For the next 6 weeks, 2 nights a week i worked out for an hour with my trainer and team. On the other days I walked with my dad. I was determined! I finally had drive! I lost 17lbs that 6 weeks. going from my high of 227 lbs to 207. Six more weeks later i lost down to 194. I was so proud of myself i was doing this! I was finally starting to feel good about myself again. Well then God blessed me with another child. I got my BFP on May 25th.  Gonna leave off here for now and pick up here later.. Time to do the mommy thing