Been a while

It has been a crazy long time since I have blogged. So much has happened.  So I will start with the new year 2012.  January 1st I started the C25k program, an man was it amazing! Besides joining weight watchers this program was one of the best things I had decided to do for me. I was and still am a slow runner but I am passing everyone that is sitting on their couch! I took pictures after every run to hold myself accountable and to see the progress I was making. Finally my weight had started falling off pretty consistently. I completed my first 5k race May 12, 2012 my time was 44:16. I ran the whole thing, see told you I was slow ;-). It was the most exhilarating feeling ever. Just amazing. i swear I had a runner's high for the whole weekend! My weight loss as of last Thursday was 40 lbs!!! I know still not very fast but I am so pleased to say in the past year I have lost 40lbs. I still have about 60 or so to go until i am at a healthy weight. I have a goal I hope I am able to achieve by the end of September. Though after this weekend holiday i have a feeling I will be a little farther away from it. I would like to be down another 20 to 30 pounds by then. We are going to the beach and I am hoping to be a lot smaller than what I am now! Surprisingly I have not dropped a pant size yet, I am not sure why but I just haven't. So part of my major goal for September is to be wearing a smaller size in clothing. Anyways its amazing how I feel much healthier now than I ever did when I was skinny before kids! An I love working out. I have just recently started taking a class called Piloxing at the gym and it is a blast! I hope it helps kick start some weight loss for me again and helps me shrink my middle. It seems as if my belly isn't going down as much as I would of expected. I still need to get my weekend eating under control. I am eating salads whenever I can when we do eat out though. I had started drinking green smoothies as well but I haven't drank one in a few weeks.

                                                    Before my 1st 5k

                                                   After i crossed the finish line!

Okay so now on to the mother part of this blog :) Masen turned 1!

                                          His cake and cupcakes I made :)

                                              Mommy and Masen

He had a great 1st birthday! Hard to believe how fast his 1st year went. Both kids are doing great and just growing up on me.

Here is a picture of Addison.  This is from some family pictures we had made. Hard to believe this rugrat starts pre-k this year! I am so excited for her though and she is so ready!

Now just some other pictures from our family shoot and some from Pigeon Forge.

Hopefully I will be able to stay on top of blogging. So much was going on that I just kind of forgot. Plus I am not sure if anyone really follows anyways :) Until next time!

Wow!

I have to admit I am shocked that i had a loss this week! Granted it was only a whopping 4 ounces! But hey I will take that over gaining any day! As I had previously stated I was going to try lowering my points some to see if that helped and I would love to say it did but this was actually the first week that I had used weekly points almost every day ! I know that I have got to try and remind myself why i am doing this and what motivated me to lose weight and to join WW when I did. So I may dedicate a post just to that when I get a chance(hopefully today!) Though I have busy weekend ahead of me so I may not get a chave to do that until sunday. Tonight I have to make my daughters Spongebob birthday cake and then of course her party is tomorrow.

Anyways, yesterday I had to take the kids with me to my weigh in because Roy had to work late and 2 hours away :( Thankfully it went better than expected though. :) On the way to the weigh in Addison proved that maybe she watches a little too much Dora the Explorer. This is her on the way there. " WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! YEAHHH!!!"

An with that I am out! :o)

Finally a update

I realize it has been some time since my last blog. I am really struggling with my weight. I keep bouncing back and forth with the same few pounds. The weekend is the worse time for me since we are usually not at home like we should be. So therefore I eat out more than I should. Usually during the week I do pretty good except for on Thursday nights after weigh in. I know I can do this I guess I just need to start over per se. I am also trying to lower my nursing points and see if that helps as well. Well until next time everyone be well!

been a while

So I am so bad at this blogging thing... I will start with the weight loss stuff. So I managed to get to 10 lbs lost.. Then I gained .6 back, okay no big deal.. then I gained 2.2lb back. I am so mad at myself and to make things worse I just seem to continually do worse. I really need to go through the house and get all sweets out of here and load up on fruits and veggies. I have so much to lose to just keep screwing it up and honestly right now could use some serious motivation. On a positive note I have been doing a pilates reformer class once a week for a month now. I am about to be on my 5th week. I have 6 sessions bought and am seriously thinking of buying more! In just a few weeks I can feel the difference in my body. I went in not being able to do a full sit up while laying down and now i can! This might not seem like a big deal to some but its great for me considering I had a c section almost 6 months ago. It is nce to know I can utilize(sp) and feel my ab muscles again and in what seems to be a short time frame.

In other news, I no longer have the gummy smile baby. Masen has cut two teeth! He is also sitting up now which is great! I seemed to had forgotten just how fast they do grow. Also he seems to LOVE the water!

Short vent: So my almost 4 year old is a very talkative and intelligent for her age. It seems everyone who meets her seems to acknowledge just how well she speaks for her age. She has always been very verbal and since she started talking she has always had the ability to carry on adult conversations and use big words. So thats the background on her. Well this weekend we went to a water park with my dad's family and did a cookout at my grandparents house afterwards. My sister had brought some friends of hers with her and one of them had decided to help my grandmother and cousins fill up water balloons. So as they were filling up the balloons my grandma and cousins began to talk about Addison and my other cousin's(not present in the house) daughter. They then made a remark saying that Addison is a special child.. Don't take this wrong it wouldnt bother me if she was indeed "special" but she isnt. Anyways so my sisters friend asked them what do you mean special and they replied oh you know she's just different....(Okay WTF seriously!) This is where my sister's friend got a little ticked off and replied " I might not have been around her a lot but she is smarter that my 7 year old sister." At this remark they just stared at her and the conversation ended.  So I am just a little furious.. I mean I have a right to be right?!?!

Anyways- we are also moving by August 1st!!!I am excited and have a lot to do! We have painted and put in carpet and some linelom(sp lol) It is right across from my dad's house so I am super excited about that since we are close :) Well I believe it is time for me to go to bed. Hopefully I can update more frequently!

Been awhile...

I cant believe I have went this long without updating! Just haven"t really had a moment to myself..  The last two weigh in haven't been great. On the June 9th weigh in I lost .4 thats it. I was okay with this though. However my birthday was June 12th and that is where things went down hill.. On the morning of June 11th I got up and went to the gym that a.m and took a Saturday class. I hadn't taken a weekend class since I was about 12 weeks pregnant with Masen. So it had been a while! I thought yes I am doing so good! Then we went and ate that afternoon for my birthday and I was starving and honestly ate really shitty... But I was okay with that since I worked out and it was for my special day even if it was a day early. I had planned on eating good on my actual birthday, that didnt happen.. I honestly ca not remember what i had eaten Sunday morning but I do know that Roy's parents wanted us to cook out. So Roy made ribs and corn on the grill. I made sure I didnt eat to much and probably only had about 9 pts used... Then I was in trouble again.. his sister had bought me a cake. Cake is my big weakness, unless it has that fake whip cream icing then I can pass. I ate a huge piece. It was bittersweet. Ha Ha. I told them I wasnt taking any home because I wouldnt be able to resist it. So what does Roy do? He brings a piece home and preceded to tell me icould have some of it or all of it if I wanted it.. >.<  I ate about half of it that night.. Then morning came and I kept eyeing it in the fridge.. I took one bite and then the next thing I know the whole thing is gone! >>.<<  OOPS! I really didnt mean to eat it all but I did. So I planned that i was definatley going to go to the Mon/Wed class at the gym and I did. Come weigh in day on Thursday i stepped on the scale terrified I was gonna weigh 2 lbs heavier and much to my surprise I only gained the .4 back! My firt gain. I am trying to not to be too discouraged and honestly am glad that was all it was because I know had I not worked out at all it would have been much more! I have also come to the conclusion that the weekend is the hardest for me. So I need to get it in gear I guess. Hoping for a better weigh in this Thursday!

Thursday June 2nd weigh in

Sorry this is a day late! Well this whole entire past week I have been worried that I wouldn't lose anything! I am pleased to say I  lost... 1.6 lbs!!!!! I was completly shocked when she handed me my card back and said good job! I have now lost a total of 7.2 lbs since May 12th! I am so proud of myself and I really hope my weight loss continues to go this well every week!

Earlier this week Masen got into the little pool with Addison. He loved the water!!! I remember when we first put Addison in water she screamed and she usually clings to you. I am hoping Masen loves the water.

We have sort of a big weekend. My baby sister graduates high school tomorrow1 I can not believe she will be done with school already and that she is 18. It just doesn't seem right. i am really curious to see how well tomorrow goes with Addison and Masen. I imagine Addison will be talking the WHOLE time and I will be trying to figure out how feeding Masen is going to work. I have yet to nurse in public, unless you count the car, and I am super nervous about it. I will probably try to pump on the way there and on the way back since we are going to eat too. This will be my first time going out to eat since joining weight watchers. We have done fast food and pizza but thats it. I have already decided I will have to plan out what I am going to eat. I guess i will have to do the same thing next weekend too since it will be my birthday and my dad always takes us out to eat..

Will definatley have to be hitting the gym more this week. In fact that is my goal for myself this week is to go to the gym more. Hopefully I can hit 8 lbs lost or more this week :)

This week's weigh in, dinner and kid stuff

I am very happy to say that I lost 2 lbs this week :) That makes a total of 5.6 lbs lost in two weeks. So far i am off to a great start. Now to keep it up for oh lets say a year. I now have 85 lbs to lose until i get to my pre children weight. I CAN do it. I am glad to say that I also got my 5 lb star.
My weight watcher leader also passed around what she calls "fat freddy"( think thats what she called him). Anyways it is a replica of 5 lbs of fat. It is amazing to see how much fat that is, although i dont see where i could have lost that but i know I did. I am hoping in the next 4 weeks i will make my 5% goal.

Dinner was completly unhealthy tonight. I am a little disappointed in myself but I will be okay. We went to Jack in the Box. Of course that isnt healthy but I got a kid's meal so maybe not a complete fail. I was a little ticked off that we order my burger plain then get home and everything is on it :(

Anywho- Addison seems to keep hurting her brother. She doesn't mean to but it keeps happening. It makes me worry everytime if he is okay, or if I should call the doctor.. He is only almost 4 months so still little. She has hit his head twice now and today she threw her head back during a temper tantrum without knowing he was behind her and hit his belly. I just pray he is okay. Having two is difficult.  It would be easier I think if she wasn't so wild, she has tons of energy. Plus we are going through the horrible 3's that no one warns you about. Really hoping the 4's are better, but not holding my breathe.
Masen is doing great. Though he is a huge mommy's boy. Which is great, except when mommy needs daddy to hold him or entertain him. It is funny sometimes though he can be upset but see me and he is all smiles :) melts my heart. I think a lot of this has to do with breastfeeding. I never thought i would actually make it this far on nursing.  Now i can't see how i ever even thought about giving up in the beginning. Now my goal after 6 months will be 9 then 12. I do plan to wean at one year if he hasn't self weaned already. I don't have a problem with extended breastfeeding just don't think it is for me but you never know until you get there.

Well until tomorrow. Goodnight all!

Today's weight and quote

Tonight will be my second weigh in with weight watchers. I think I am starting to get the hang of the program. Though sometimes I wish I was able to eat like I did before children, back when my weight was great.  To me the hardest part about losing weight isn't necessarliy the food restrictions. Its how slow and long the process is. We as Americans are so use to instant gratification that the time period for weight loss is just nerve wracking. I know it has to come off slow and in a healthy way I just wish it didn't take so dang long! Maybe it is because I have so MUCH to lose and i know it will be a long process. Right now my first big goal is to get back to 194 lbs, then down to 180 and so forth...

A quote I found yesterday really speaks to me now "The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination."

I am a deteremined woman. I am determined not to look this way for the rest of my life. I am determined to get healthy not only for myself but for my children. I CAN do this! My health depends on it.

To me one of the biggest downfalls of being overweight, besides the obvious, is I don't feel good about myself anymore. With every extra pound I put on I lose a little of my self confidence. So now with every pound I lose I am going to start trying to get that back.

"The difference between the impossible and possible lies in a person's determination."
Losing weight isnt impossible for me anymore because I am determined and I WILL make it possible.

Where I left off

I meant to finish postng last night but that didn't happen. I left off at finding out I was expecting again. I was in complete and utter shock when that test came back positive! I took 3 more just to be sure! I finally just realized there is no way i could have 4 false positives. :) I was pregnant and still grossly overweight. I was terrified of something happening to the baby, of gaining weight, of everything! My pregnancy went fairly decent. I had some major scares in the beginning. Such as pain so bad that the doctors thought I had an ectopic pregnancy. That made me realize just how much I already loved the baby and I was terrified of losing him. An to think just a few days before this I was freaking out about the whole pregnancy. I remember laying in the ER praying that everything was fine. Praying that the tests and ultrasounds would show everything was okay. The ultrasound didn't show much like I hoped. i was told it may be a baby in my womb and possibly my tubes. On ultrasound they saw a bleeding mass. It was too early for a hb i was only a mere 4 weeks pregnant.  For the next week and a half i went to the doctor to have blood drawn every few days to make sure my HCG levels went up.  I was told to take it easy until we found out. I remember the day the doctor called and told me my numbers had more than doubled! I was so happy, i had honestly been expecting the worse and I was a mess.  The next ultrasound i had showed a wonderful tiny beating heart. I was able to hear the heartbeat at 10 weeks :)

 My plan had been to exercise during pregnancy so i could stop from gaining way to much. The dr said it would be okay and great if I only gained 15-20lbs or even less. I couldnt work out because i felt dizzy when I did and started getting pains in my stomach around my c section scar when I walked. I didnt gain anything my first trimester! I thought "YES! i can do this!" I found out I was having a boy. It was a major deal! He is the first boy in 21 years on my dad's side! All through the pregnancy if i had a ultrasound i made should they would re check just to make sure! I was already in love with my little boy!  I had to have a RCS with him since i had a emergency one with Addison.  I ended my pregnancy with a total weight gain of 51 lbs :( Somehow at the end it just packed on and on and on...

I was determined to breastfeed him and try harder than what I did with Addison.  I also thought sure i can breastfeed and this weight that I regained (plus more) will just melt right off. Wrong. Again.  I actually lost about 25 then gained it back. So here I am, 4 months postpartum. I am still successfully breastfeeding,we have battled thrush and all.  I joined weight watchers on May 12th, at a weight of 230.8 lbs. I had my first weigh in on May 19th and had lost 3.6 lbs so far.

So this is where my new weight loss journey will begin.  I am still determined to lose this weight. I know I can. I was doing amazing when I lost those 33 lbs and became pregnant again. I dont regret my pregnancy at all. I have been blessed with two beautiful children.  It is no ones fault but my own that I am overweight. No one can fix it but me!  So it may be boring and no one may even read this but this is for me. I am going to try and blog about my weight loss and about being a mom at the same time. Wish me luck!

First Blog!

So this is my first blog. Ever. So bare with me if it doesn't dazzle. :) I am a mom to two wonderful little ones. I had my first, Addison, when i was 19, that is where my motherhood and weight  journey begins. More on that later. I had my second baby Masen in january of this year.  I decided i would try blogging to write down my weight loss journey. I am determined this time to lose weight for good and this helps me be more accountable.

I never had a weight problem until I got pregnant with Addison. I stupidly thought I would be one of the "lucky" ones that could gain a lot and lose it right after having the baby.   I. Wasn't.  I managed to gain 60lbs with her putting me at a whopping 200 lbs! Which is a TON on my 5'1 frame. I wasnt really to worried about it because I thought well i will breastfeed and lose it all. Well nursing didnt work out....  I lost down to 180 after her birth and was assured by my Dr. that the weight would just keep falling off.. He lied. Not intentionally of course but still. I somehow gained the weight back and they brought some friends.. I went to work when Addison was 3 months old, even though I didnt want to. I think this also contributed to my weight gain, since it was a desk job.  For the next  yeas my weight bounced from 180 to 211. When i went to my dr and weighed in at 211 lbs in 2009 he told me I had to make a change. He said with the way my gain had been that if i continued to gain this way I would be dead. He said i was becoming a very good candiate for gastric bypass.  I forgot to mention that I was also diagnosed with Polycystic ovaries after having my DD too. The doctor also said this contributed to my weight problem.  Anyways- I was terrified when i left the doctor that day and called my dad crying. My dad being the amazing man he is went to the gym in my town and signed me up and paid for training and everything. I was completly grateful and excited.  I went to the gym for awhile but honestly my heart wasn't in it completly like i had hoped.  I found excuses not to go after a while. Fast forward a year. It was January 2010 and my boyfriend's sister called and told me the gym was starting a 6 week class called Battle of the Bulge,similar to Biggest Loser. I knew deep down this is what i needed to motivate me. We had a team competing against the other trainers teams and our teammates counted on us to be there every week to lose weight. It was a team effort so therefore i just couldnt let my team down. For the next 6 weeks, 2 nights a week i worked out for an hour with my trainer and team. On the other days I walked with my dad. I was determined! I finally had drive! I lost 17lbs that 6 weeks. going from my high of 227 lbs to 207. Six more weeks later i lost down to 194. I was so proud of myself i was doing this! I was finally starting to feel good about myself again. Well then God blessed me with another child. I got my BFP on May 25th.  Gonna leave off here for now and pick up here later.. Time to do the mommy thing