My thoughts today

It seems that every night when I go to go to bed I have all these great things I should blog about. but then when I get up in the mornings I seem to forget them. Anyways, I have really been thinking about my weight loss and goals the past few days. I at times feel so overwhelmed with what I have to lose that I lose sight on what I need to do to acheive my goals. So I think that this week I am going to try and remember to just simply eat right and not make stupid choices. I know easier said than done. My goal is to by this time next year be at a healthy weight. That is a HUGE goal though and that is what I need to stop focusing on. I need to focus on 5 lbs at a time. I would said 10 but that seems like a ton too! That being said I do want to at least be at pre pregnancy weight (from Masen) by his first birthday. It is completly attainable I just have to kick my ass into gear!

Wow!

I have to admit I am shocked that i had a loss this week! Granted it was only a whopping 4 ounces! But hey I will take that over gaining any day! As I had previously stated I was going to try lowering my points some to see if that helped and I would love to say it did but this was actually the first week that I had used weekly points almost every day ! I know that I have got to try and remind myself why i am doing this and what motivated me to lose weight and to join WW when I did. So I may dedicate a post just to that when I get a chance(hopefully today!) Though I have busy weekend ahead of me so I may not get a chave to do that until sunday. Tonight I have to make my daughters Spongebob birthday cake and then of course her party is tomorrow.

Anyways, yesterday I had to take the kids with me to my weigh in because Roy had to work late and 2 hours away :( Thankfully it went better than expected though. :) On the way to the weigh in Addison proved that maybe she watches a little too much Dora the Explorer. This is her on the way there. " WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! WHERE ARE WE GOING? TO THE WEIGH IN! YEAHHH!!!"

An with that I am out! :o)

Finally a update

I realize it has been some time since my last blog. I am really struggling with my weight. I keep bouncing back and forth with the same few pounds. The weekend is the worse time for me since we are usually not at home like we should be. So therefore I eat out more than I should. Usually during the week I do pretty good except for on Thursday nights after weigh in. I know I can do this I guess I just need to start over per se. I am also trying to lower my nursing points and see if that helps as well. Well until next time everyone be well!

How life happens

Wow. I realize it has been about a month since I last blogged. I am apparently as I expected bad at this!
Updates: I am now finally down 11.6 lbs. It only took me 16 weeks arghh. But I am here. That leaves me with 79 lbs to go. I know its probably to much to ask for but I am hoping this time next year I am at my goal. Being fat is a pain in the ass. I hate the way it makes me feel and I hate the fact that I can't eat whatever and not gain. I use to be lucky.

My sweet baby boy is 7 months old today. Time has flown  by. He is sitting up now and trying his damnest to stand up! Why do they grow so darn fast?! My beautiful daughter is going to be 4 in a couple of months and I just don't know when she got so big on me. She is extra sassy these days and is already talking about wanting to drag race. Man thats gonna be FUN! Hahaha, right...

On to some seriousness. My grandmother battled and beat breast cancer 15 years ago and has been great since then. Until a week ago when she went to the doctor because she felt as if she was sitting on something. Come to find out she has ovarian cancer and had the grapefruit sized tumor removed this past week. So now her new battle is about to begin. We are hoping she makes it the 5 years they said is possible and maxium they usually tell you that you have.

So all of this is why I have blogged. Apparently life happened. And if we are lucky will continue ;-)
Until the next time. Everyone stay safe. Live life.

been a while

So I am so bad at this blogging thing... I will start with the weight loss stuff. So I managed to get to 10 lbs lost.. Then I gained .6 back, okay no big deal.. then I gained 2.2lb back. I am so mad at myself and to make things worse I just seem to continually do worse. I really need to go through the house and get all sweets out of here and load up on fruits and veggies. I have so much to lose to just keep screwing it up and honestly right now could use some serious motivation. On a positive note I have been doing a pilates reformer class once a week for a month now. I am about to be on my 5th week. I have 6 sessions bought and am seriously thinking of buying more! In just a few weeks I can feel the difference in my body. I went in not being able to do a full sit up while laying down and now i can! This might not seem like a big deal to some but its great for me considering I had a c section almost 6 months ago. It is nce to know I can utilize(sp) and feel my ab muscles again and in what seems to be a short time frame.

In other news, I no longer have the gummy smile baby. Masen has cut two teeth! He is also sitting up now which is great! I seemed to had forgotten just how fast they do grow. Also he seems to LOVE the water!

Short vent: So my almost 4 year old is a very talkative and intelligent for her age. It seems everyone who meets her seems to acknowledge just how well she speaks for her age. She has always been very verbal and since she started talking she has always had the ability to carry on adult conversations and use big words. So thats the background on her. Well this weekend we went to a water park with my dad's family and did a cookout at my grandparents house afterwards. My sister had brought some friends of hers with her and one of them had decided to help my grandmother and cousins fill up water balloons. So as they were filling up the balloons my grandma and cousins began to talk about Addison and my other cousin's(not present in the house) daughter. They then made a remark saying that Addison is a special child.. Don't take this wrong it wouldnt bother me if she was indeed "special" but she isnt. Anyways so my sisters friend asked them what do you mean special and they replied oh you know she's just different....(Okay WTF seriously!) This is where my sister's friend got a little ticked off and replied " I might not have been around her a lot but she is smarter that my 7 year old sister." At this remark they just stared at her and the conversation ended.  So I am just a little furious.. I mean I have a right to be right?!?!

Anyways- we are also moving by August 1st!!!I am excited and have a lot to do! We have painted and put in carpet and some linelom(sp lol) It is right across from my dad's house so I am super excited about that since we are close :) Well I believe it is time for me to go to bed. Hopefully I can update more frequently!

6-23-11

I apparently am running out of titles already.. HMM. Oh well. Today has been pretty uneventful so far. My children decided it would be a wonderful idea to wake up at 730.. I on the otherhand do not agree! I have just been so tired here lately. Masen's eating schedule is all off track so my sleeping is as well! He was almost sleeping through the night but now we are up at least twice sometimes three times. gfhbkk Masen says HI!

Addison right now is playing dress up with my clothes. Really wish I knew how to post pictures on here so I could post just how silly she looks!
My workout at the gym last night was killer! I swear if I haven't lost any this week i will be shocked! I have worked out 3x this week at the gym and am planning on starting something simple here at home in addition to the gym.  I feel like I started off strong in the beginning of  my journey and yet here i am 7 weeks in and starting to feel a little discouraged already. I guess as long as I am not gaining I will be okay. I have a small goal in mind though and it just seems so difficult to attain. I would like to have lost 30 lbs(or more) by October(that is on top of the 7 I have lost already so 37 in total). That will put me at the weight I was when I got pregnant with Masen and then I will only have 53lbs to lose to get to where I was when I got pregnant with Addison. That is a weight I am comfortable at though WW has me needing to be about 8 lbs less than that. I am hoping that by this time next year I will be where I want to be.

All this weight has really messed with me. My self esteem is just horrible because I feel horrible. I know I am not my weight but I swear I feel like I am. I feel as if people look at me and they don't see ME, they see all this weight. I hate seeing people I went to school with because the last time most of them saw me I was skinny! Some I had seen when I was pregnant but then I was pregnant so it was different. I am blessed though. Blessed that I have two beautiful children.Blessed that I have a boyfriend who loves my body this way just as much as he loved the one I had when we first got together. I was thinking the other day how sorry I feel for my boyfriend because he is stuck with "this me" and not the "old me" like he had signed up for. I felt guilty that he didn't get what I call the best of me because my body and I guess mentality has changed since we first go together and I feel as if past boyfriend's got the best and they didn't deserve that. But then I continued to think about it and came to realize, yes he doesnt have the best body me, but he does have the best ME. He has me as the mother of his children he got to help and watch me create life and raise children and make a home. He gets to see me succeed at doing the hardest thing ever. An he well he gets my heart the whole thing for the rest of our lifes. He gets me, all of me. He is the only person who knows everything about me, he is my best friend. I can tell through the whole weight gaining thing that he does love me for me and whats inside. He finds me beautiful no matter what I look like. I don't know about you but to me that is true love, unconditional love. I know deep down that I can make it through this and lose this weight. God wouldn't give me anything I can't handle. I have just shyed away from the "challenge" for too long. Time to beat this battle instead of continually fighting it over and over. I can do this for me and for my children.

This ended way longer than what I intened and way off track but I feel better getting everything out. I will check back in after weigh in tonight.

a Day at the park..

Today was Masen's first time at the park! We all went to the park today for Addison to play with her cousin Ella. They have been trying to plan a get together for a while without letting us adults know. Addison is almost 4 and Ella is almost 5. They had talked on the phone a few weeks ago for an hour straight! That is what prompted this visit today. We had to go early because we have storms moving in this afternoon. It was fun! Addison and Ella decided they wanted to swim and thank heavens my aunt was there because that gave me and my cousin Emily a break from our girls! We both have infants though. Abbigayle(her LO) and Masen are only 2  months apart. It is amazing to be able to see the milestone differences in them. Abbi is the oldest and she is sitting some and is starting to try and crawl and is bouncing all over the place. Masen can sit when supported and does bounce just not quite as much. Its amazing to see the things he may be doing soon! I did notice he is more mellowed out than she is. He was facisnated with the swings. He was inspecting them while Abbi was bouncing and laughing! I am also happy to say i nursed in public today! its the 1st time i have done this when not sitting in the car! It was amazing! I am proud of myself for finally doing it even if it was just in the park and with a cover :) The day was great until my sweet girl had a fall. She is fine now though.
well duty calls, time to feed Masen and get ready for the gym!