Weight loss journey

This  is about my weight loss journey to right now. I am nowhere near finished and still have a lot to go but thought I would post a before and halfway picture. I see pictures all the time that help motivate and inspire me and I am hoping that maybe if anyone reads or sees this I am able to do that for them. First let me be completly honest and admit how difficult it is to post the before picture. Just a little background.  My weight has always been something that has bothered me. Even when I was in HS and was smaller and "skinny" I still had the typical girl issues with my weight.I will say that at times I was really mean to myself on my weight. I look back now and realize how crazy that was but I have and still do struggle with body image issues,thank you media! So when I got pregnant with Addison I was technically considered overweight for my height but was okay(had a love hate relationship) with how I looked. Over the course of my pregnancy I gave into literally every craving I had. My biggest craving was sweets mainly cupcakes. See where I am going with this? I gained 60 pounds! So by this point some of you may be saying oh well you will lose it blah blah blah... I was NOT one of those "lucky" girls that drops all of their baby weight in 3 weeks.. Nope mine stayed with me. My weight flipped back and forth I would lose 20 pounds then gain 30 and so forth. I will never forget the time I went to my doctor and he told me with the way I was gaining weight that I would be a canidate for gastric bypass... I remember calling my dad and bawling. I wasn't that big was I? It was one of the worst days. I remember feeling so helpless and upset that I did this to myself.I felt ugly. It was a real low point to hate yourself so much because of weight, I know now more than I did then that I am not a number on the scale. I have to stop letting it identify me.  A few days later my dad signed me up at the local gym.. I would love to say that is when everything changed but it wasn't. I went to the gym a few times took a nutrition class and met with a fantastic personal trainer. That was in March of 2009. I gave up and stopped going.. It was too tough and I didn't have "time".Even though I really did because I had just lost my job! So i had all the time I needed because the gym even threw in free childcare! When in all honesty I just wasn't ready or committed to making a change.. So from March of 09 to early January of 2010 I put on 16 more pounds. My dad and I had started walking in about October or Nov of 2009 but I wasn't losing. In January of 2010 I was over at Roy's parents house and his sister Rachel came in and told me about this new program the gym was starting. It was going to be called the Battle of the Bulge, their own form of biggest loser. It was a 6 week program and their were a few different teams led by the trainers. Our teams were competing on who could lose the most weight. It was brutal. Our team leader, the awesome trainer I mentioned earlier, was tough but it was tough love. She believed in every one of us and pushed us. The first night was so hard. I was sore for days! On the off days I would walk with my dad in the gym. He didn't join me that round. My first week I lost 6 pounds! I can't remember exactly but i think by the end of the first 6 weeks I lost 17 pounds! I was ecstatic! So of course when they offered another 6 weeks I jumped right on it! This time my dad joined with me! :) In the middle of this round we started taking a free group class at the gym(still take it to this day). When it was all said and done I had lost 33 pounds in 12 weeks. My dad lost 30 I think in those 6 weeks.. Men always have a easier time losing. Anyways then I  got pregnant with Masen. I am not going to lie, I was terrified at first about gaining all that weight back! I tried to work out still but wasn't able to. i did great on weight until about halfway through. I ate better with him than I did with Addison but I still gained 51 pounds. But the difference was I knew when I was able to exercise again I wanted to. But even though I dropped about 30 pounds after having I gained 15 back.. That is when I knew something had to change again. I had found myself eating bad again and making poor choices. I had been thinking about joining weight watchers to help me with the food part of needing to lose weight. On Mother's day 2011 after seeing the way I looked in pictures I knew I had to make a change. I wanted and still want to be healthy for me and for my children. i want to set a good example for them. I do not ever want to be a sideline mom. And I want to feel my age. I mean come on at the time I was 22, a month away from being 23. An I felt horrible about myself. So on May 12, 2011 I joined weight watchers. I started making the gym a priority again. I had always wanted to be able to run and to run and finish a 5k race. Never and I mean never in a million years did I ever think I would actually be able to do it though! So I told my dad that on January 1st 2012 I was going to start the couch to 5k program. he decided to do it with me. Running is one of the most rewarding and challenging things I have done exercise wise. The first week was tough. But I remember how good I felt when I did it. Then when it came time to run for 20 minutes I was terrified. An didn't I could do it, but I did and I felt amazing afterwards! I made a album to follow my progress and to help keep myself accountable. I never missed a run. I ran my first 5k in May and I finished in 44 minutes and 16 seconds. Being able to run 3.1 miles is an amazing feeling and such and accomplishment. I reccomend it to everyone to give it a try if it is something you have wanted to do. I f I can do it anyone can! It has been a long, long slow process to get me to where I am right now. I know I could be closer to my goal right now but I am not and I am okay with that. Weight loss is not a race. Losing slower is better and healthier for one's body. Even though we all want instant gratification,I know I still do at times. So the pictures I am about to post are my before and halfway point. I am not to my "AFTER" yet. I have lost 51.4 pounds and I still have about 47 or so to go to get me to a healthy weight but I do not know if that will be my stopping point. So I may only have 47 pounds to go or I may have 60 pounds to go. I haven't decided the end goal yet. I am trying to only focus on the right now goal. I have made positive changes in my life.. Do I still screw up? Of course on a daily basis. This isn't some fad for me. I know right now at this points the gym and WW changed my life, I have been blessed to meet amazing people at both places who have forever changed my life. An I will forever be grateful to the role they are playing in this journey! Oh and I started at 230.8. I am now at 179.4!